Cryptobranchus alleganiensis

...otherwise know as the hellbender salamander. One of my fondest hopes is to see one of these things and possibly eat it. Measuring it at about two feet and weighing 3-5 pounds, one would probably provide enough protein for a week's worth of hiking, and i've rarely had the pleasure of dining on amphibian. If i do see one, which isn't super likely because they're endangered, it will probably be in the first stretch of the trail in norther GA or in the Smokies along the Tennessee/North Carolina border. Anyway, they look like this...



fucking cool right? it's like a newt but it's the size of a kitten. Probably if i find a hellbender i'll take it with me and keep it as a pet. It would probably keep flies away and keep me up at night telling me stories about epic battles it had with crayfish and stuff like that.